Confessions of a Sweatshop Inspector
Presidential candidates are calling for tougher labor standards in trade agreements. But can such standards be enforced? Here’s what I learned from my old job.
Dept. of WHAT: This is an actual magazine, with actual stories, that I found under the TV at an old person’s apartment in SoHo this weekend.
Sigh. Magazines really were better 30 years ago…
The Year the World Really Changed
Forget the fall of the iron curtain: the events of ‘79 matter more.
Mr. X
This account was written [by Carl Sagan] in 1969 for publication in Marihuana Reconsidered (1971).
It all began about ten years ago. I had reached a considerably more relaxed period in my life - a time when I had come to feel that there was more to living than science, a time of awakening of my social consciousness and amiability, a time when I was open to new experiences. I had become friendly with a group of people who occasionally smoked cannabis, irregularly, but with evident pleasure. Initially I was unwilling to partake, but the apparent euphoria that cannabis produced and the fact that there was no physiological addiction to the plant eventually persuaded me to try. My initial experiences were entirely disappointing; there was no effect at all, and I began to entertain a variety of hypotheses about cannabis being a placebo which worked by expectation and hyperventilation rather than by chemistry. After about five or six unsuccessful attempts, however, it happened.
![The dildo (via Surfactant)
A quite large dildo that is beyond the point of self-retrieval, in the rectum and sigmoid of a patient. These cases are more frequent than you might imagine. Many of these patients will state that “they fell on it”, or use some accidental method of rectal penetration as an explanation for why they are in the ER. Some even go so far as to say things such as: “I was attacked by a group of men who did this to me”. Nearly all of these types of cases are patients who were trying to achieve or enhance sexual gratification through anal and rectal stimulation. What I do appreciate, though, are the patients who are in this situation and just get brutally honest. “I was getting off on this thing in my ass and it went too deep”. It’s not that I don’t respect the people that make excuses. I can’t even imagine the horrific embarrassment of having to go to the ER to have a “still vibrating” dildo removed from your rectum. Definitely a very personal thing, no matter who you are, and many would be too mortified to tell the truth to strangers. It’s just that every now and then, someone comes in and says: “I love these things in my ass. I got one stuck and I can’t get it out, will you help me?”. I respect that kind of honesty.
// PHOTO CONTENT: DESCRIPTION, NOTES, COMMENTS A quite large dildo that is beyond the point of self-retrieval, in the rectum and sigmoid of a patient. These cases are more frequent than you might imagine. Many of these patients will state that "they fell on it", or use some accidental method of rectal penetration as an explanation for why they are in the ER. Some even go so far as to say things such as: "I was attacked by a group of men who did this to me". Nearly all of these types of cases are patients who were trying to achieve or enhance sexual gratification through anal and rectal stimulation. What I do appreciate, though, are the patients who are in this situation and just get brutally honest. "I was getting off on this thing in my ass and it went too deep". It's not that I don't respect the people that make excuses. I can't even imagine the horrific embarrassment of having to go to the ER to have a "still vibrating" dildo removed from your rectum. Definitely a very personal thing, no matter who you are, and many would be too mortified to tell the truth to strangers. It's just that every now and then, someone comes in and says: "I love these things in my ass. I got one stuck and I can't get it out, will you help me?". I respect that kind of honesty. ]]]]>]]>](http://22.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktgka9vOpb1qz7tw5o1_400.jpg)
The dildo (via Surfactant)
A quite large dildo that is beyond the point of self-retrieval, in the rectum and sigmoid of a patient.
These cases are more frequent than you might imagine. Many of these patients will state that “they fell on it”, or use some accidental method of rectal penetration as an explanation for why they are in the ER. Some even go so far as to say things such as: “I was attacked by a group of men who did this to me”. Nearly all of these types of cases are patients who were trying to achieve or enhance sexual gratification through anal and rectal stimulation. What I do appreciate, though, are the patients who are in this situation and just get brutally honest. “I was getting off on this thing in my ass and it went too deep”. It’s not that I don’t respect the people that make excuses. I can’t even imagine the horrific embarrassment of having to go to the ER to have a “still vibrating” dildo removed from your rectum. Definitely a very personal thing, no matter who you are, and many would be too mortified to tell the truth to strangers. It’s just that every now and then, someone comes in and says: “I love these things in my ass. I got one stuck and I can’t get it out, will you help me?”.
I respect that kind of honesty.
Alright, not much better over here either.
“a bad influence”? Excellent. Our work is almost done.
Why dolphins are deep thinkers
The more we study dolphins, the brighter they turn out to be
newsweek:
Decade Flashback: The Segway, 2001
We have two people to blame for the failure of The Segway: George Jetson and Robert Zemeckis.
We were all too cocky after surviving y2k. We walked around thinking we’d outsmarted the computers of the world and that we deserved to be rewarded for such a thing by walking into the future we’d always been promised: flying cars, instant breakfast machines, robot maids, and hoverboards.
I don’t know why we believed that the Jetsons and Back to the Future II were documentaries, and not works of fiction, but we did. When the future unfolded all around us over the past decade, via iPods and Wiis and cellphones that could take pictures and record video and computers that you could fit in your pocket, we all kept bitching about how we’d been ripped off, how we’d been lied to, how the future had been a total letdown and how technology wasn’t going anywhere. We’re in the 21st century, we moaned, where is my flying car? Where is my Mattel hoverboard!?
The need for the future of our dreams is the reason we all fell for the mystery of The Segway. Billed for months as “It,” it was promised as an invention that would change the way we lived forever. What could it be, we wondered, what wonderful thing awaits us!? Our flying car? Our 3-D holographic Jaws movie marquee? Our flux capacitor?!
What we got instead was a “personal transport vehicle” that looked a bit like something Wham-O would have released in 1986 under the name “Street Riderz,” only it came in futuristic silver as opposed to hot pink and green. The Segway is a machine with noble intentions: it was meant to save the environment, to change the way we get from point A to point B. It was a $5000 razor scooter with a motor, and our response, fittingly enough, was “that’s it?” The Segway, game changer, had not changed the game. The future was here, and we thought it was stupid. Because, well, it was kind of stupid.
About a year ago I saw a man winding through the streets of Chicago on his Segway, dressed in a suit and a tie. This was the businessman of tomorrow! Going places! Doing things! Getting from A to B on his world-changing machine! And yet all I could see when he whizzed by me were broken promises: he wasn’t flying, he wasn’t hovering, he wasn’t wearing a jacket that dried itself. Why couldn’t he just walk? What if it started raining? Did that thing even have a radio? What was wrong with this dude? He may be the future, but he looks like a total asshole.
The Segway was supposed to change the way we lived. But all it did was make us realize that even the future has its failures, and its assholes, and we should be prepared to deal with both. At least until our flux capacitor hits Target and we can all go back in time and right everything that went wrong.
Yes, but the Segway made Gob Bluth and Mall Cop the greatnesses they are today.
Actually, recent studies indicate that it was Gob Bluth that killed the Segway. No one could ride that thing like he could.
An Arkansas 10-year-old says he won’t pledge to the flag until gays and lesbians have equal rights. (via Video - Breaking News Videos from CNN.com - Boy won’t pledge allegiance
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